Shifts for parenting teenagers
Reduce decision making and increase coaching
Work on your own personality
Be friend of your teenager
Make your teenager child responsible
Stop praising your teenager child
Involve teenager, never “own” them
In a nutshell
During your journey of rearing children, parenting teenagers is full of ups and downs as your child is passing through different hormonal and physical changes.
Emotional changes are at its peak during this phase of life, because suddenly from people, teenager finds half of the population like herself and rest of them are opposite to her. So, parenting teenagers is also challenging keeping this fact in mind.
During the period of infancy, nurturing and bringing up of children is quite easy as your child is bound to follow you. But, as the time passes and teen age starts, your child starts developing her own social and personal links.
Along with this, his opinions about relationships, success, failure, education and other areas of life start shaping which might be contradictory to your own thoughts.
Keeping these realities of life, following strategies can be very helpful in parenting teenagers.
When your child is very small, you are the decision maker of your child’s matters of life. When the teen age starts, she starts sharing her views and also wants the acceptance and appreciation of her notions of life.
A famous scholar, Sadhguru, has said that child comes into this world through you; but, don’t expect that she will accept all your views about life and universe without any amendment. As you expect that your child should follow you; your child also expects the same thing from you.
During this phase of your teen ager, your child needs coaching, not dictation because she does not like to be dictated.
Your child doesn’t learn by listening; he learns about life by observing you. As said by Michel de Montaigne that actions speak louder than words is quite true regarding parenting especially parenting teenagers.
Spare some time to analyze the merits and areas of improvement of your personality and if possible, find some mentor to help you judge yourself.
Make yourself such a parent who is working like a torch bearer for her teenager. Because, if your teenager daughter or son does not like to follow you; she will find some other person to follow suit.
It is universally acknowledged fact that one can open his or her heart before his or her friend which he cannot even disclose with his or her parent. So, to know such secret of your child, you will have to develop friendship with your child in such a way that first you are her friend and later parent.
Teenage is the age of love and emotions that can be handled by love and affection. This is the age of making friend where every one of this age desires to have someone who may understand her feelings and show her love and affection. Teenage is love thirsty age that every teenager wants to be satiated.
To know the feelings of your child, you are to be her trusty and well-wisher friend that will help you to be aware of what is running in your child’s mind. In many cases being best friend of your child, you can solve her many issues and save her from many difficulties and destructive things.
Teenage is the difficult age of the child that can be handled very carefully. It is good thinking to make your child responsible before she reaches the age of teenage. If she becomes responsible, it is your great success as a parent. So, develop the habit of showing responsibility in your child.
Too much praise and love spoils the child. While praising, focus on the specific behavior or activity that she performed, not her personality. In this way, your teenager will try to improve his conduct of life. Timely praise is very effective while parenting teenagers.
Contrary to this, illogical praise can be the cause to spoil your child as well.
As a parent, do not bring up your child as nincompoops because she has all the senses working at extreme level. Some parents make the mistake of thinking their children as property, but, in reality, they are just delivered in this world through parents.
When you as a parent consider your child a gift of nature, you feel relaxed and rejuvenated as you are the facilitator to exist your child’s life, not the owner. This notion brings a great change in parenting teenagers.
Changing of mind has the capacity to change sights. Same is true to parenting teenagers for some people feel challenges and problems during parenting teenagers while others enjoy supporting nature to function in a smooth way.
Now a days, some parents may consider teenage a big issue but it is not so. The reality is that we as parents are sometimes not compatible with them. Like, old cell phone does not support new applications; in the same way, modern teenagers are not adjusted with classical parents. This example may feel awkward to some old fashioned parents but this is reality and you know that accepting reality leads you to freedom and happiness while avoiding it may end in suffering, frustration and pains.
If any parent is annoyed from his teenager, she ought to observe her attitude towards parenting teenagers honestly and she would start enjoying the journey of parenting.