There is a big difference between discipline and punishment but some parents, unknowingly, mix punishment with positive discipline strategies. Keep in mind that discipline means managing the family environment by handling any disturbance or tension optimistically without losing temperament and using traditional ways of punishments.
One thing, you should keep in mind that nurturing your child is no less than an uphill task because of different intervening factors affecting the process of effective parenting. So, be hopeful and steady while parenting your child.
Following 8 positive discipline strategies will help you in effective parenting.
Positive discipline strategies
Allow controlled choices to your child
The difference between counseling and coaching is of choice which means that in counseling, your child is suggested some readymade solutions while in coaching, decision is entirely of your child. Coaching is such a stupendous phenomenon in which your child decides herself what the next path should.
The main quality of coaching is that it gives a way to your child but decision is done by your child. The essence of coaching lies in effective questions and I, Ajmal Dass Jaipal, am a life coach and the disciple of Sir Qaiser Abbas who is the disciple of Marshal Goldsmith– an international figure in the world of coaching and mentoring.
Teach emotional intelligence
I think the top level demand of executing discipline is to have an idea about the role of emotional intelligence in managing discipline. The world in which we are currently living is full of stress and challenges and the concept of emotional intelligence in effective parenting provides a ray of hope for you, as a parent.
Emotional intelligence means the awareness of your own emotions and those of others. Furthermore, the use of those emotions to improve your condition and of others is the next phase of emotional intelligence. When your child knows the source of her emotions, she understands the software of her behavior and improves her conduct by understanding the reason of emotions.
Among the 8 positive discipline strategies, use of emotional intelligence is quite helpful to manage discipline regarding your child because you come to know the root cause of disturbance by your child. You handle it appropriately and manage discipline.
Create a ‘yes’ environment
“How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie is one of the best books on maintaining relationships and making friends and the summary of this book is also on my portfolio site. In this book, an important point is to take the next person on “yes” environment. You say some positive things which are in favor of your child and she starts saying “yes”. This is the time when your child is quite ready for accepting the rules of managing discipline because of flexibility.
Regarding discipline, share things with your child at this time in a soft way and she will easily synchronize herself with you.
Sometimes, ignore negative behavior
You might be among those parents who criticize their child on every negligible mistake that she commits. It is against positive discipline strategies because it irritates your child and he becomes rebel due to your wrong behavior.
You, in your practical life, commit many mistakes and expect not to say anything in a taunting way. Just be an empathetic parent and you will start understanding the feelings and emotions of your child which is the main thing in understanding the psychology of discipline and is one of the main 8 positive discipline strategies in parenting.
Sometimes, you compromise with your child’s negative behavior because you know that ignored negative behavior has less chances of being permanent.
Contrary to this, praising and appreciation on the right doing are the greater tools to boost your child for adopting positive behavior.
Focus on training & communication, not punishment
Punishment, sometimes, makes your child adamant and harsh which are not supportive in positive discipline strategies in parenting process. Instead of punishing your child, focus on proper training and effective communication which pave the way of happy and successful parenting.
Focus on positive aspects also
Mostly, every incident has two sides: positive and negative. Being a parent, your attitude decides what is positive and what is negative. You should practically demonstrate through your character that you mostly see the positive aspect of things and happenings; not the negative one.
By an example, I would like to make it clear. My son, Pareetam Dass Jaipal, was riding his bike during a sunny day and I was at home sleeping. Suddenly, some boys and girls who were the friends of my son came to me and told that your son had fallen from the motorbike. After going there, I saw that his upper lip was badly injured and he was weeping bitterly.
I was shocked to see his condition but controlled myself; went to a nearby hospital where my friend, Dr. Mukesh Kumar operated upon his lip and I was relaxed because of his sincerity and motivation. I encouraged my son that it was not a big problem and God saved us from a big challenge. I said to him:
Don’t worry now.
I am with you. See the positive side. It could have been worse also.
From this incident, my son has learnt how to see the positive side of things even in tough situations.
Perform detective role to know your child
To know your child deeply, sometimes, hide yourself from your child’s eyes and see the activities of your child. Understanding her personality will help you to assist her in a better way. It also happens that at times, your child does not clearly express her feelings with you but performs according to her emotions which create problems.
In a nutshell, do struggle to know your child’s personality type, habits, beliefs, and skills which will prove as a torch bearer to guide your child in an effective way.
Don’t lose hope- keep teaching
Parenting and teaching are the two things where there is no place for pessimism at all. Both optimism and pessimism are contagious; so, demonstrate optimistic approach in front of your child.
Being the parent of four kids and many nephews and nieces, I have come to the conclusion that your life cannot be a problem free life. Learn the art of reframing situations and your life will be full of joy, hope and optimism.
Demand of the parenting is that don’t be disappointed even in extreme situations because disappointment snatches the will and courage to live and sometimes, people opt even the worst things possible in life.
In a nutshell
The above 8 positive discipline strategies will help you in managing discipline and avoiding punishment which pave the way of effective parenting. Seeing the positive side of things, ignoring the negative behavior and giving choices to your child are some of the most important positive parenting strategies to help your child, a disciplined child.
Wish you a happy, successful and memorable parenting journey.