Types of Parenting styles and their Impact on Children
Types of parenting styles and their impact on children are inseparable. Do you want to know in depth your own parenting style. This article is for you then.
On parenting styles, a considerable input has been given by Diana Baumrind, Maccoby and Martin. Before going into the details, let us have a bird’s eye view on effective parenting.
Psychologists’ Opinion about Parenting Styles and Holistic Development
Psychologists expert in developmental psychology of children are keenly interested to find a relation between parenting styles and their impact on holistic development of children. Every parent wants her children to have good moral values. To see growing their children in different areas of life including physical, social, psychological, and practical etc. is every parent’s dream.
The role of parents and gardeners is approximately same because both struggle to uproot the unwanted things and water those qualities and plants which prove a fountain of blessings for the society.
Generation Gap and Parenting Styles
Every generation faces some generation gaps because of the changing nature of society as it is said that nothing is permanent but change.
Sometimes it happens that while setting some boundaries, many parents forget to remember that demands and facilities of their time were different and now the nature of things has been changed. These parents can fill these generation gaps by having a clear understanding of the requirements of the running age.
As Dada Bhagwan, a famous writer says that if young adults are guided properly and have proper facilitation, they have the potential power to assist and uplift the whole world in a dynamic way. Along with this, if a child is not working properly, probably, there may be something missing in parenting.
Childhood is such a phase of life which is full of interposition. As far as positive intervention plays a dynamic and constructive role during early childhood, negative one can be spoiling and destructive as well. So, it has been proved by different researches that family environment is considered the backbone of early childhood time.
Decision making, managing their resources, time management skills, waiting for their turn, sharing and giving attitude and goal setting are some of the skills among many which are of key importance to develop the children as useful human beings for the entire world.
Now we dive deeply into different parenting styles and try to find out the pearls of wisdom for effective parenting.
Different Types of Parenting Styles by Diana Baumrind- Find your Own Parenting Style
For effective parenting, a clear understanding of different types of parenting styles is very important.
Diana Baumrind was the first developmental psychologist at the University of California who introduced this concept of three parenting styles. Later on, by the collaborative efforts of Maccoby and Martin, this model was not only refined but also upgraded.
According to this theory, the relationship between parenting style and the development of children in all aspects is worth-mentioning. Before going into the detail, we have a look on the basic terminology.
Demanding is the control of parents on their children’s behavior or to show maturity in their deeds.
Responsiveness is the responsibility of parents to care the different needs of children and accepting their role in effective parenting.
Authoritarian or Disciplinarian Parents
These parents have strict rules for their kids to follow. If kids are unable to follow these rules properly, punishment is given as a result. These types of parents don’t know about flexibility and discussion about the challenges faced by the children. If they are asked to explain, they simply say, “this is my order. I consider it right.”
They are high demanding, but low responsive. They expect their children to perform 100% error free. So they go against nature because it is not possible for a man to spend error free life. If children commit small mistakes, ratio of punishment is very high because they consider that by insulting the children, they will mend their children’s life.
Sometimes, children don’t know even, why they are being punished. So they remain bewildered about the circumstances and can’t connect between cause and effect.
These parents want their children to be obedient and submissive. They are the followers of the old maxim, “spare the rod, and spoil the child” which is misfit in this age. They have dictatorship approach in parenting.
“Psychology Today” an authentic blog on parenting also stresses on the fact that the children of authoritarian parents are more depressed
The children of authoritarian parents, according to Baumrind’s philosophy of effective parenting, are
- Are not happy and pleased with the life
- Ready to quit easily in challenging times
- Very submissive and unquestioning
- Socially less competent
- Low self esteem
- Depressed most of the time
These parents are highly responsive and demanding. Talking about achievement and maturity, they have high expectations but they are very responsive and show warmth in relation with the kids.
Unlike authoritarian parents, they are democratic ones because they make rules but they are more flexible and lenient about these rules. They want their children to follow the rules but if children have any question about these rules, they listen and absorb patiently and negotiate open mindlessly.
They are always ready to explain their actions logically so that their children may not feel vague. They are emotionally intelligent as they have the ability to sense the feelings of their kids. This single most quality has the power to make them highly effective parents.
Encouragement, autonomy and individuality are key qualities that are shifted to their children up to the extreme level.
Keeping in mind Baumrind’s research on parenting styles, the children of authoritative parents are:
- Good at decision making
- Independent; don’t depend on parents in many cases
- Happy and satisfied with the life
- Flexible and lenient
- Self esteem
- Self-starters and sometimes super achievers
- Highly active and energetic
- Mentally sound and relaxed
- Not addicted to alcohol and drugs.
Permissive or Indulgent
These parents are not demanding but have responsive attitude. They don’t set rules for their kids to follow. Their main focus is to make the children happy by showing leniency in making and implementing rules and regulations. If kids have any problem in behavior, they say that they are kids and will change themselves with the passage of time but overlook putting some limits.
The main challenge for these parents is to have a balance between rules and expectations. Because of ignoring rules during childhood, the children are less likely to manage their upcoming life because following rules has not been their habit. This situation can be alarming not only for the children but also for the society.
They focus on the role of a friend and try to become just friends of the children, not proper parents.
The children of permissive parents
- Have low self esteem
- Show indifference for authority and guidelines
- Show poor academic performance
- Make meager choices
- Don’t make good decisions
- Show violent behavior
Both responsiveness and demanding are approximately missing in this parenting style. As the name suggests these types of parents are not involved in their children’s lives. No restrictions are set for the children and these things mostly create chaos in their life.
These parents are either very busy in the personal matters or very careless about the spending of quality time with their children. They even don’t bother to fulfill the basic needs of the children.
In depth, they don’t know about their children’s studies or relationships. Engagement in the fulfillment of basic household needs can also be a big reason of this parenting style. Mostly, they don’t do this intentionally rather they don’t know the basics of effective parenting. But sometimes, this type of parenting is optional to give the children to do all by themselves.
The kids of this uninvolved parenting
- Are not emotionally intelligent
- Face the challenges of drug abuse
- Have psychological and mental issues like committing suicide.
The Final Thought on different Types of Parenting Styles
About parenting styles, it is difficult to decide which style is suitable at a specific time. How to be an effective parent seems to be the toughest question but with dedication and learning attitude, it becomes easy to be the best parent.
The best parenting style out of four seems to be the authoritative one because it has proper balance between demanding and responsiveness. Types of Parenting styles and their Impact on Children.
Research conducted by Lisa Damour, PhD, and presented in the form of a book, “Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls” also supports this fact.