Toxic Parents: Signs, Tips and 4 Methods to Deal
Parenting is one of the top most responsibilities in this beautiful life, but some parents take it as a burden. Furthermore, some parents also consider it as an authority over the child falling into the category of toxic parents.
In this article, you will recognize toxic parents with particular signs. You will know about the signs of such parents and how to deal with them. This article will help you to solve many problems that are related to your mind and body due to the noxious parents during teenage.
This blog will cover the following sub topics:
- Who are toxic parents?
- Who is toxic father?
- Can a mother be toxic?
- Signs of toxic parents
- Top 4 methods to deal with toxic parents
- Parenting styles
Who are toxic parents?
Parents’ behavior matters a lot in the growth of a child. The parents who listen to their children’s problems earnestly and also provide parental support to solve the problems are called good parents.
Children of such parents develop good qualities including patience, tolerance, and brotherhood and don’t criticize and interfere in the others’ matters. On the other hand, the children who are not supported by their parents cannot be proved good citizens and good members of society.
Toxic parents are always harsh, unsupportive and don’t try to understand their children’s emotions. They don’t provide good or friendly environment in their house. These things lead children to the depression and stress. These types of parents can also damage their children’s mental and physical health.
Who is a toxic father?
A father who does not take care his children’s wellbeing in case of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual dimensions is a toxic father.
The most important thing to remember is that ‘toxic’ word is used not only for toxic mother, toxic father can also create difficulty to his children’s life and future. A toxic father is a poor role model to his children. He is like a ‘roof’ who just provides them shelter, but doesn’t support and control his family in a good way. Sometimes, he causes an embarrassment to his family and neighbors due to the deadly behavior.
Sometimes, such father lives in another country, and doesn’t come back until his children grow young. He just prefers to his needs over the needs of children. He always remains absent and doesn’t play a significant role in the life of their children. When children become young, they try to attain love and care of other people. Because, they have not got these things from their father.
Can a mother be toxic?
Yes, having a toxic mother can also harm her children’s life directly or indirectly. Growing up with a toxic mother affects badly to the life of her children because they can never think about their rude behavior. When a toxic mother fails to provide a peaceful environment to their children, they imbalance their emotions, trust, self-respect and don’t take decisions in their lives as well. Toxic mothers can also have a long – lasting impact on their children’s emotions.
A toxic mother cannot think about her children’s needs. She cannot listen, she just talks and she never giver her child advice and guidelines in any matter. Signs of these types of mothers are over controlling, crossing boundaries, abusing and teasing their children with negative behavior. To live with toxic mother sometimes seems very hard because she attacks on your self- respect.
Signs of toxic parents
To deal with toxic parents, you should know about all the signs appropriately. Without knowing the signs, it can be tough for you to recognize them. Remember, toxic parents can harm you both physically and mentally. These types of parents may be proclaiming in front of you that they care, love, support and try to solve your problems. But, they do these things to blackmail you.
Criticizing on the desires of their children is also included in the signs of toxic mother & father. With toxic behavior, they disturb and change the environment of their home and make home hell; this thing affects the children and he becomes the patient of stress and depression.
Children cannot do their work well, and don’t attempt to develop their community with their qualities.
For your help, some important and well – known signs are given below. These can help you to identify and avoid them.
| 1. | Abusive parents | Toxic parents damage their children both by words and acts. They say hurtful things or abuses to their children. To punish their children, they don’t think about children’s self- respect and give harsh punishment. They feel proud to their strictness and tough love. These types of parents always feel pleasure and entertainment to embrace their children in front of others. Toxic parents ignore the emotional boundaries of their children. |
| 2. | Controlling behavior | Toxic parents make boundaries for their kids and don’t feel well to have friends of their children. They are over- controlling who have no idea of the impact of their wrong behavior to the children. They attack on the privacy and always interpret those decisions where a child should be given acceptance. They can be interfering privacy as hawkers, and read all conversations with others. They never show any respect to the child interests and achieving goals. |
| 3. | Narcissistic style of parents | They are self- absorbed and narcissistic. They always believe in themselves, not on their children. Even when they aren’t right, they prove to explain that they are right and do well for their children. They don’t spend too much time with their children, but demand that their children have to read their mind and should do many things according to them. They always criticize their children when they make mistakes; they don’t apologize and regret to their children. |
| 4. | Authoritarian characteristics | Such toxic parents are very strict to their children and always think critically to the work of their children. Toxic parents abuse their children verbally and physically. These parents don’t respect children. They don’t listen to their children with fully concentration and interest to solve them. They ignore personal boundaries with their child. They cause to attack about the goal and choices of life. Sometimes, they use emotional manipulation to control them. They are sensitive and can easily angry. They never show any good assertion to appreciate the children. |
| 5. | Emotional handling and ill-treatment | Toxic parents are expert in gas lighting, sometimes making their children doubtful about their identity and personality. Toxic parents maybe invisible for others, but they impact to their children long – lasting. They mostly use love to handle situation and follow up their thoughts. Toxic parents often use love as their strongest weapon. |
Tips to deal with toxic parents
These tips will help those children who face toxic parents in their daily life. These tips are very fruitful for you to help and understand their behavior. Due to these tips, you can easily reduce stress and depression and can face others in a better way. These are:
| First of all, you ought to know and recognize toxic behavior of your parents. |
| Don’t cross your boundaries; follow your boundary limits strictly and strongly. |
| You shouldn’t try to start arguments even you are right and doing well to achieve goal. |
| You should spend your life with enjoyment and take pleasure of all little things happening in your life. |
| Don’t try to please toxic parents; they may not change their point of view about you and bright future. |
| They don’t understand the desires and problems of the children completely. Don’t discuss your problems with them. |
| You should believe on that change which you cannot change after full concentration and interest. |
| Don’t try to tell everything with full explanation. You should avoid them. |
| Don’t be available for your parents every time. You should keep distance with your parents. |
| You should consult to the therapist as well. |
| Toxic parents are over- sharers. They use you as the major source for their emotional support. |
| You should protect yourself and give more time to groom and boost energy and confidence to do specific task of your life. |
| Toxic parents are often emotionally outburst, they deal with anger and confusion with the children every time. |
| They overreact on every minor thing. They give too much importance and create drama on daily bases. |
| These parents are entangled with their children. They want their children to be their best friends, they are poor in protecting their children’s privacy. They desirably think that they should completely involve in their children’s life. |
| To avoid toxic parents, you should make intellectual boundaries and manage to share limited information with your parents. This tip will be very fruitful for you. |
| If you have tried to remain positive about the parents, you should accept reality and follow it completely. This thing will lower down your stress and anxiety. |
| Support system can be useful for you. Don’t hesitate to go at that place where people love you and try to understand your feelings, emotions and help in brainstorming the solutions. |
| They don’t inspire and motivate their children. You should focus on yourself and your achievements. |
| Toxic parents don’t accept their any mistake and never apologize for their negative behavior with their children. |
| They don’t like that their children should take their own decisions. To know each minor thing, they walk with their children like a guard. |
| As children, you should think before making any mistake because toxic parents don’t remain ready to forgive you. They don’t agree to accept your weaknesses. |
| To live a healthy life, you should bear or make distance to their habits of yelling and calling names. |
4 important methods to deal with toxic parents
It’s difficult to grow up with toxic parents; these parents damage the life of the children. To get rid of them, you should set your boundaries. For grooming your ideas and opinion, you need to know how to deal with toxic parents. After making boundaries, you should work on yourself and take care of yourself. You need to work on your feelings and self- respect.
| Method: 1 Avoid to take responsibility for their feelings and actions |
| Don’t sacrifice your feelings and emotions to make them happy and entertained. The first priority is to please yourself, give more and more time to yourself and try to polish your skills and abilities. |
| Method: 2 Accept that you can never change |
| Habits may never be changed as soon as you wish. When you know and recognize about the toxic parents, your first struggle is to change them. It’s not possible to change someone else very easily. You can only change yourself. Stop trying to change your toxic parents and don’t wait for them. Just focus on those things that you want in life and build healthy relationship with others. |
| Method: 3 Keep yourself within a limit, and think to share enough about your life and goal. |
| To secure and save your life and its goals, you need to talk enough to them. They will not trust on you but mostly create disappointment for you. Toxic parents always say against you and your goals. You shouldn’t discuss every little thing which is good for you. Good friends are good in every condition, they are also better advisors to tell about goals and life. You can feel better and at least stress and depression will not increase by talking with friends. |
| Method: 4 Stop talking what they say about your personality |
| It’s natural to believe on the words of your parents. Sometimes, toxic Parents say hurtful things to you. Try your best to listen to them funny voice. These things aren’t accurate and authentic about you. Don’t worry about them. This is the best idea to talk to yourself nicely. For repeating words in normal voice, it’s very funny. You can minimize your stress and tension. |
Parenting styles and toxic parenting
Knowing about parenting styles is a good thing which gives you better behavior, attitude and approach to feel you well and boosts your energy and confidence. Some parents give the opportunity to their children to take decisions and step forward in the future.
Many parents have no idea how much their parental behavior matters to groom and develop their children’s dreams. But, there are parents who try to create an emotional and constructive environment for their children.
Parenting styles focus on the responsibilities and rights of children and demand from their children to fulfil their parents’ demands. There are many useful styles and methods which make you good parent for your children. Keep in mind that there are some harmful parenting styles also. These types of parenting styles are mentioned below:
- Dismissive parents
- Neglectful parents
- Overbearing parents
- Abusive parents
- Narcissistic parents
- Drug abuser parents
- Unsupportive parents
- Under- involved parents
- Controlling parents
For your understanding and help, these parenting styles are explained briefly.
Dismissive parents
This is the most important parenting style which influences on the life of the children. These parents always dismiss their children’s needs, feelings and problems and don’t give any importance to their decisions.
Continuous dismissal from the side of parents makes children confused and indecisive. Mostly, they remain angry and unhappy with them. All these things can make children alone, annoyed, awful and walk on the way of taking high depression and stress and completely dependent on others in every small decision of daily life.
Neglectful parents
These are such parents who are neglectful towards their children and don’t attach physically and emotionally with the children. These children face difficulties due to the lack of attachment with their parents. To ignore and neglect all those things that children want make them upset and tensed. These things are created at that time when parents don’t value the interests of their children. These parents are also called uninvolved parents.
Overbearing parenting style
Toxic parents are overbearing to their children’s particular choices and adapting occupation. These parents just pay attention on their traditions, customs and values. They are over-reactive; they don’t permit their children to take decision even that this is small decision which everyone takes in the daily life.
Decisions are the keys to achieving goals. But, toxic parents do not allow their children to take decisions. As a result, many people are worried to take decisions and think that they are dependent on their friends and close relatives.
Abusive parents
These types of parents damage their children’s self-respect and as a result, their children become doubtful of their personality. Abusive parents hurt them physically to punish strictly in front of others and pass comments that might be upsetting and miserable for the children.
Toxics parents want from their children as romantic partner’s treat. They only depend on them for emotional cooperation and talk about their personal life. Dynamic Manipulation is considered very common in those families. Like as divorce, one partner tries best to put the children to the other partner and changes the positive mind of the children.
Narcissistic parents
Toxic parents affect badly on the mind of the children. They also impact on the personality and life style of their children. They always give importance to their own needs, wishes and relationship with others. They don’t think about their children individually.
They mostly blame to others. They have poor boundaries. They are critical and abusive for their children. As a result, the children become selfish, self-caring and don’t hesitate to tease others with tongue & hands.
The children of these parents have no pain or anxiety to see unbearable incidents of humanity.
Drug abuser parents
Many parents become drug –abusers because of over-work and the miseries of life. They take high drugs to reduce their own stress and anxiety. They don’t give peaceful environment to their children. They have depressed feelings, tension, anxiety and over- reactive behavior harms the life of their children. Due to these things and painful environment, children cannot take education properly, and don’t participate to the community. They don’t build the capability to lead as well.
Uncooperative parents
Toxic parents are uncooperative and harm the minds of their children. They continuously think negative about their children leading them to stress and depression. It impacts on the children’s life achievements, developments and confidence long- lasting. These things also destroy the inner feelings and emotions of the children in the upcoming life. Uncooperative parents don’t listen to the problems of the children.
Under-involved parents
This thing happens where neglectful parents don’t understand the basic needs of the children. They don’t give any respect and love. They also don’t respond about their daily routine’s needs including food, clothing, and shelter to live a good life.
Un-involved toxic parents don’t provide their children parental guidelines to remain secure from awful things and people. Due to the poor guidelines, children may not take good decisions and feel completely helpless to manage problems. These people don’t have a healthy life-style.
Controlling parents
These types of toxic parental behaviors destroy caring and loving things of the children. These poisonous parents control their children and consider it their right to control them. Doing this, they never think that they are damaging their children’s self- respect and push their children to the stressful environment.
They feel proud when they point their children doing any mistake, and they do not like when children work without their own authorization. Sometimes, they interpret their children’s privacy and want to know about their personal life and read out their text messages and calls.