Dale Carnegie’s book “How to win friends and influence people” published in 1936 is the masterpiece of making relationships and leadership.
Ways to Win friends and influence people
Let us learn together the main points to win friends and influence people
Never complain or criticize others
The first point in building relationships is never complaining or criticizing others. No one likes to be criticized at any rate even if he knows, he is at fault. An opportunity of face saving can be very effective to win friends and influence people.
Show genuine interest in people
The next worth mentioning point of “How to win friends and influence people” is to show genuine interest in people. It means that you cannot impress others by showing fake attention and appreciation.
Some so called modern people claim that dishonesty is the best policy but it is a universal truth that natural laws like “Honesty is the best policy” have their impact and will remain effective till the Day of Judgment. So, instead of flattering, do sincere and honest appreciation and people will start liking you.
Some people might think that that that specific person does not have any quality. But it is not possible because man is the combination of good and bad. So, try to find goodness in people and contribute in their life.
Some people think that speaking is very important but to win friends and influence people, listening is of core importance. Most of the people want to speak but if you are an effective listener, you will be a great achiever in leadership skills.
Talk in terms of others’ interests
When there is need to talk, talk in terms of other people’s interest. Whatever, they want to talk or the topic in which they are interested, you should provide them opportunity to talk on their favorite topic.
Make the other person feel important
While talking, make other persons realize that they are important, because every person likes to be important. It is said that in the company of great people, no one feels inferior because great leaders make everyone feel decent and important.
Human beings are emotional creature
Human beings are emotional creatures, not logical ones. So, touch the heart, then, ask for a hand and you will be successful to achieve your desired results. Never play with the emotions of people.
I have a huge personal experience in my personal and professional life. Giving respect to my friends and family members has helped me attain a satisfactory level of serenity and peace in my life.
As far as professional life is concerned, paying attention to the hidden and untold emotions of my students and team members helps me moving towards greatness, success and happiness.
Avoiding arguments is very important to win friend and influence people because you may win that argument but you will lose the person. Along with this, argumentation is the end of reason and logic.
While arguing, everyone wants to prove that he is on the right side; no one is ready to accept his fault. Overall, our purpose is to solve the entangling situation; not increasing chaos and problems.
Admit your mistakes
While dealing with people, if you feel, you are wrong, admit it. This single most quality will establish you a flexible person among the people and they will start following you with the passage of time. Admitting mistakes is the sign of bravery and greatness and you start improving yourself.
Discuss others’ mistakes indirectly
Another significant point of “How to win friends and influence people” is to discuss others’ mistakes indirectly. People become defensive when they are pointed out their mistakes. So, the best way to improve people is to figure out their mistakes indirectly by taking the help of some stories or quotes etc.
Ask Questions instead of giving orders
Great leaders ask effective questions. Such great questions lead to great answers. Great leaders believe in coaching not dictating; asking effective questions is the essence of coaching.
While giving orders, you don’t respect the designation, power and thinking potential of that person. On the others hand, by asking questions, you give space to the next person’s point of view and when he feels that it is his viewpoint and decision, he works on it with devotion and sincerity and helps you to win friends and influence people.
In a nutshell
“How to win friends and influence people” is a great book to win friends and influence people and everyone should read it and apply these rules in his life. I have personally experienced these rules and improved the level of my life.