My chum, Dr. Mukesh who was blessed with a baby girl, came to me and asked, “Dear, can you guide me” What are the principles of good parenting? I shared what I knew about the basic principles of good parenting. You might be thinking, why he came to me to know the basic principles of good parenting.
Its answer is simple.
He has two reasons in his mind: Firstly, I am the father of four kids and uncle of many nieces and nephews, having huge hands on experience of parenting. Secondly, I am a parental coach and trainer also.
Now, be ready to enjoy the summary of our discussion on the basic principles of good parenting.
The first point is…..
Build innate genius of child
In this age of industrial revolution, focus is on more and more production and results. Following this philosophy, educational institutions are also copying this idea of just productivity of same; ignoring uniqueness.
In educational institutions, every child is dealt in the same way. Subconsciously, as a parent, you also apply the same industrial mentality forgetting this fact that every child is unique, talented and genius.
So, as a parent, you ought to strengthen the basic principles of effective parenting by finding innate genius of your child.
“Animal School” is very famous story by Jack Canfield in his master piece, “Chicken Soup for the Soul”.
In this story, the writer tells us that some animals in a jungle decided to start a school to meet the challenging needs of this modern world. They introduced an activity based curriculum which included swimming, climbing, flying and climbing.
Duck was expert in swimming but weak in flying, running and climbing. Swimming was his innate genius but school was not ready to accept and polish that innate genius. The school instructors were trying to develop all those skills in which he could not perform well. The duck was forced to spend time on climbing and running which resulted in the deficiency of his innate skills of swimming.
Eagle was expert in flying but not in swimming and running. So, he also could not be the topper of the school.
Squirrel was extra ordinary in jumping and climbing, but could not perform in swimming and flying.
An abnormal eel was good in all these skills and was the position holder in the class.
This small story has a very great massage for you as a parent because you are applying the same strategy on your children. Everywhere in the society is comparison which is not less than engulfing poison to smash the innate genius of your child.
Among the basic principles of effective parenting, helping your child to find that innate genius is on the top of the list.
Provide loving and caring environment
Provision of loving and caring environment to your child ought to be your top most priority while parenting. Its reason is that development of soft skills is possible only in conducive and soothing environment.
Your child learns to love if he is being nurtured in the loving and peaceful environment.
To pinpoint and grow innate genius, appropriate environment is needed. So, loving and caring environment is also very significant among the basics principles of effective parenting.
Child is gift of nature, not property
In this modern age of industry and information technology, some parents consider their children as investment for future safety. This very idea of investment is not helpful in building service oriented society because it focuses on profit at any cost, keeping business in mind, not service.
So, as an effective and great parent, you should understand and accept this thing that children are not your property.
Your child is the gift of God and if you know the value of gift, congratulations to you. A lot of respect and value is given to the gift. So, respect your child and enjoy your journey of happy and successful parenting.
What you do is very important
The most important and fundamental thing that is very crucial for effective parenting is your own character. What you do as a parent is more effective than what you say. Preaching your child to do her work properly will be useless if you don’t follow the same philosophy.
Involve in the life of your child
Involvement in the life of your child helps you connect with your child in the best possible way because you come to know the routine of your child. This involvement needs much patience and care as your child will perform as a child and sometimes, you might not absorb it easily.
Adapt your parenting with your child
As a parent, showing flexibility and elasticity will enable you to change yourself with her growing age. Parents who feel difficulty while parenting their child are not flexible as they are unaware of the psychological changes in their child.
Every time, strict approach is not effective; sometimes extra leniency and softness can be more effective than harshness.
So, have the ability to change yourself with the changing demands of your child and find some way to live happily and successfully with your child.
In a nutshell
Among the basic principles of good parenting, identifying the innate genius of your child and role modeling are at the top. Help your child in shaping her personality by providing feasible conditions as much as you can.
Wish you happy and successful parenting.